If something positive happens in your life, don’t be modest by keeping the news to yourself — brag about it to your close friend or family member, or risk having them feel devalued when they find out second hand, say researchers at the University of Michigan.

People are often concerned about being seen as braggarts. They avoid capitalizing on their close relationships even when it is likely their friends would ultimately learn about the news, according to a new study published online in the Journal of Personality.

The researchers say withholding information is a forecasting error. People overestimate how negatively their friend would react to disclosure and expect their friend would react more positively if they discovered the news on their own through external means.

“They neglect to predict that partners who later learn of the news … in fact feel devalued,” said study co-author Oscar Ybarra, professor of psychology.

Ybarra — along with U-M psychology doctoral student Zachary Reese and lead author Todd Chan, a U-M Ph.D. graduate — conducted nine studies involving vignettes reviewed by nearly 2,200 participants, who also used their own recalled experiences.

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at Michigan News.