Skip to Content

Search: {{$root.lsaSearchQuery.q}}, Page {{$root.page}}

Borrow a news headline or internet story headline. If you’ve seen a headline you recall grabbing your attention, use that. (Personally, I’ve never forgotten FLYING HUMANOID WITH WINGS CAUGHT ON FILM OVER ARIZONA.) If you haven’t, spend not more than five minutes finding one on the internet. In less than 30 seconds I just now found on BuzzFeed 16 EYE-OPENING SECRETS FROM PEOPLE WHO WORKED AT THE DISNEY PARKS: perfect. Now, freewrite for ten minutes on all that would never be written get into the story itself by asking yourself questions that would never be asked or answered by that story. Start with any question: where is the humanoid’s grandmother? what color is her hair? is it windy? does the humanoid wear a hat? (describe that hat!) Or: what if one of the Disney Park secrets is about a piglet? (describe that piglet), has Mickey Mouse ever fallen in love with a bird? (describe that bird, and that love) If you have time you can write down your questions before you start to write. If you don’t have time, let your freewrite suggest your questions.  Your goal is to describe (in sensory detail) things would seem extraneous to the story being told below the headline, which will therefore be the real story. 

Weather Change Coming to Ann Arbor, Detroit, and It Has the S Word in It - MLive, 4/14/2021
By Meghan Prindle

We're ready for anything, here on the peninsula.
What has the weather whipped up next?
Sleet or slush or ice or a spicy spring mix
Spaghetti and meatballs and iceberg lettuce;
Or if it is snow,
May it fall softly
In a quiet sweetness
That sifts and softens
And soothes a stormy spring soul.

The True Story of Brad the Cat
By S. Atticus Olivet

I came here last night
Scared and filled with
hate The garden gate was
open I was cold, needed
respite. You tried to coax
me in Through casita back
door I spent the night
outside
Weatherbeat, windswept, sore.

I came here last week
Feline without a helpline
Your yard has been a comfort
Found the fish you left…for me
Thank you for leaving the door ajar…
Its probably a little cold in there
But that is your own fault
Im staying out here.

I came here last month
And still waiting for a sign
Of your hostility, for time
And time again I’ve fought.
You likely know nothing
Of my past, but the present
You’ve created (a pallet and a bowl
With the name ‘Brad’) is a gift.

Tonight you sat me down,
Bald man, loudest in the house,
And told me to watch out
For rats, crows, gofers, and such.
They eat the carrots you said
So, a gift, Showing my gratitude
Sits at the foot of your big bed
Coupla sneaky gofers: one for each of you.

Tomorrow, I leave you three,
I’m going with the bald man.
My apologies for his actions
Though I hold no responsibility.
I’ve told the dogs, who now
I’ve come to love, to care

And console you; ease the burden
You bare; I left a hairball for you too.

Next week I will die
For I had a dinner meeting
With the tabby tally keeper:
Only one life left, soon fleeting.
I’m groomed, well-fed, claw-
cut, But didn’t know we were
told When we’d go to the cat,
big one
In the sky. We do. Meeting him soon.

So, thank you
goodbye first family.

Banksy Painting Self-Destructs Immediately After Being Sold For $1.4 Million.
By Evers

This was the news headline. However, there are more important questions to ask. Here, I will try to describe some of the important things that this headline does not include. Was this painting the first ever to self destruct?

It was a cold and blustery day. The sky was bright gray, as if the sun was shining as brightly as it could while the clouds tried to cover it up. There were many people on the street, specifically outside a flower stand. A few people crowding the flower stand realized that they probably wouldn’t get a flower, so they turned around where a temporary artist had set up an easel. They talked for a little bit, and the artist looked slightly exasperated. He finally relented, and started painting a picture in red. It slowly took shape into a flower, similar to the ones being sold not too far away. The people buying the flower took it home, while the artist looked on, with a strange expression on his face.

The next morning, the buyers woke up to find some ash on their living room floor. They checked all the smoke detectors, the stove, and the fireplace, but they could not diagnose the problem. What they didn’t notice was that the painting was gone.

HUMAN CELLS GROWN IN MONKEY EMBRYOS SPARK DEBATE - BBC
By S. Atticus O.

Monkey embryos containing human

Cells made in a laboratory, a study
The research, by a US-Chinese
team, sparked fresh debate
into the ethics
scientists injected human
stem cells - cells develop
into many body tissues
- into macaque embryos

could pave the way in
severe shortage in transplantable organs
"Ultimately,
we conduct studies to understand
improve human health," He said.
'Ethical challenges’ Scientists
have, however, raised concerns
the experiment, arguing that while
these embryos case was destroyed…

Can they be made to breathe underwater?
Can they fix buildings or people who are broken?
Are we already monkeys?
Will there be more monkey people?
Like in Bojack Horseman?
What are their names?
Should this be surprising?
Humans always doing this?

Will this go under the rug like cloning?
Or Pesticides? Or genetic modification?
Who got funding for this? Who gave it?

We’ll have even more Monkeys in government?
And in reporting? Give a monkey a typewriter?
Hamlet’s Monkey Baby. To Kill a Monkeybird.
Haven't humans heard enough bad ideas
to make us go extinct? And made them?
Like Pandemics?
Is this the source of the next pandemic?
Or nuclear fallout?
Or Pollution factories we drive every day? Let's let it happen?

Is this the next cultural renaissance?
What's the list of monkey-people being made?

Leonardo da Monkey
Marie Curmonkey
Albert Monkeinstein
Archimonkeys
Monkelangelo
Monkey Sanger
Monkel Faraday
Benjamonkey Franklin
Niomonkey Parker
Friedrich Monsche
Charles Darwin
MonConfucius
Fyodor Dostoyonkey
Monkey Twain
Monkey Streep
Monkey Morrison
Alexander the Monkey
Stephen Hawonkey
Betty Monkeyden
Edgar Monkey Poe
Monkey Chism
Jane Goodall
Himonkey Clinton
Leo Tolstoy’s The Monkey


Prof J. Savulemonkey, director
research “opens Pandora's box
to human-nonhuman chimeras"
He added: "These embryos were destroyed
at 20 days of development but it is only matter
of time before human-nonhuman chimeras
successfully develop a source for humans
That is one
long-term goal of research"

“a clear need for public discussion and debate
about the ethical and regulatory challenges raised”

Who is the public?

The Lost Embryos

Last seen: inside the Busch’s on
Ann Arbor-Saline Road. Somewhere
between the sushi bar and the cheese case.
Nibbling on a vat of quince paste.
Little Adam and Evelet. Snake tried
to snatch them but they wiggled
down further into the goo. Why come
out now, be born, set the clock going
when you can burrow deep
into the sweet, sticky, earth-colored
fruit of eternity?